i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
