first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize