well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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