I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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