watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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