OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
