I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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