Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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