This girl is more easily done than said...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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