I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
