i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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