How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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