Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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