i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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