Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
