I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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