if only i could text you this smell
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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