Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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