just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize