I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize