put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
