My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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