I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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