I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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