apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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