I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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