it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
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she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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