Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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