Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
