I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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