sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
