don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
