Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize