yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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