I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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