Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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