Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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