Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
