Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
