this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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