Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
