Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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