Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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