Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
