I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Pooping to opera.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
