her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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