i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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