So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
