Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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