I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
